by Kami | Apr 16, 2019 | All Essential
We have had a lot of medical twists and turns since Jeffrey was born. Least of all was last summer when his right knee started to swell. It was at a family funeral that we first noticed he was limping. He had significant swelling of his right knee, seemingly out of nowhere! After a week with no improvement, orthopedic evaluation and eventual ER visit he was diagnosed with Lyme disease right before our daughter was graduating from high school and we were hosting a 150+ person grad party for her! We went from overnight in the ER to sitting in the bleachers watching her graduate! I don’t recommend the emotional roller coaster we went on…
Luckily for us we have so many natural solutions at our fingertips. I was able to start a Lyme protocol, provide supplements to make the 30 days of antibiotics easier on his tummy, and whip up some safe, non-toxic bug spray with all the materials I have on hand. I didn’t have to make one trip to the store! Seriously! I cannot imagine living any other way, it is just more convenient, cheaper, and safer.
by Dan | Apr 2, 2019 | All Essential, Spirituality
This is NOT the post that I had planned for today. Not by a long shot…I had originally planned to be blogging from another country, but that wasn’t the case.
18 months ago, I heard something that drew my interest. doTERRA was going to become an open market in some new countries…one of them was Ecuador. I quickly remembered that one of my former students was in the middle of her three year term teaching English down there. A thought came to mind…what would it be like create a team of customers and possibly builders in a new country? A country that could benefit SO much from the great natural health benefits, but also the income doTERRA could provide. (I’ve seen something like this happen in another country with a similar economic situation.) Then last summer, I read a great book, Chase the Lion, that inspired me to go after my dream and not just sit back and dream about what could be.
Once Ecuador finally opened in December of 2018, the plan was put into motion. I would use my spring break to fly to Ecuador, spend a few days meeting and educating people and planting seeds amongst those the I came in contact with. Last Wednesday, final plans were made and things were all ready to go. Thursday night I packed my bags and checked my passport, I was so excited and nervous to step into my long awaited dream! Then Friday morning came and everything changed. Due to a medical issue, there would be no traveling. I couldn’t believe it. After almost 18 months of planning and dreaming – POOF! Just like that, it was gone.
My first reaction was to be angry, very angry. I basically moped and growled and barked at Kami all morning because I couldn’t come to grips with what was happening. I couldn’t understand why after all of this time, something like this could pop up at the last minute. But because of my strong faith, I knew I had to shift my energy. I took some quiet time to pray and seek some answers from God about this. It didn’t take long for me to change my perspective.
I have learned through many instances in my life that I have two choices. I can blame God or praise God when obstacles arise. I could blame Him for holding me back and preventing my first HUGE attempt at an international trip. Or I could praise him for protecting me, whether it be from the health issue or from getting my hopes up about the possible success of the trip. Maybe it wasn’t the right time, and the trip would bring me disappointment. I chose to praise God and accept it. Yes, I am sad that I’m not there, experiencing the beauty of Ecuador and meeting the amazing people of that country. But I have to trust Him for He makes all things GOOD.
by Kami | Mar 26, 2019 | All Essential, Jeffrey
“We get by with a little help from our friends”-The Beatles
Dan shared his thoughts on Jeffrey’s sports night experience last week and now it is my turn.
The ENTIRE event two words kept coming into my thoughts…HELPING HANDS. If you look at some of the pictures you can see all the times I captured a fellow student or faculty member literally touching Jeffrey and guiding him through an activity.
It seems so simple, yet it is so profound. They were using skills that Jeffrey’s therapists taught us through years of therapy, to not only give him verbal cues but to also use touch as an additional stimuli to reinforce behaviors or encourage action. Jeffrey tends to get “stuck” (motor planning issues) and simple verbal cues are impossible for him to comprehend much less put into action. When he is stuck we can become incredibly frustrated, “come on…let’s go…MOVE…”, but this frustration only makes his “stuckness” worse, he literally becomes frozen and our frustrations rise. We begin to circle the drain into the abyss of ineffective parenting and general family unhappiness, we all feel it and it is awful.
But if we remember to do the opposite of our impulses, to speak gently and simply, and to use the power of touch to gently move him into action-that is where the magic happens. Here is where we see the “click”, we can tell he is hearing and processing what we are asking him to do. It all starts with us and our toolset, and the students and faculty that night knew exactly what to do to support Jeffrey. Maybe they are trained, or maybe it was innate, but for me it was an act of pure love and humanity towards our son. One I will never forget!
~Kami
by Dan | Mar 19, 2019 | All Essential
DISCLAIMER: Parenting is hard. Real hard. The decisions that parents make for their children are personal ones which come from years of experiences – as a child and as a parent. What I’m writing today is not a judgment on others parenting styles or philosophies. It’s just the way we decided to raise Jeffrey.
Like I mentioned in previous posts about Jeffrey, there are a lot of things the kid can’t do, but it’s not for a lack of trying – by him and us. Even though there are obvious developmental delays that he exhibits, we weren’t going to allow that to prevent him from trying whatever activity he seemed interested in. We weren’t going to place limits on him,
We signed him up for the Special Olympics sports – track, long distance running, and basketball. There was also the Special Stars Soccer and Baseball. Then there was the time we put him in a bike-riding class for special-needs children. We bought him a special bike ($$$) with a handle and then adult training wheels (that he only rode maybe 10 more times).
But he wasn’t happy doing just that. He wanted to do the things that his brother and sister were doing. At church, we made sure he was included in all of the choirs, even though he would basically just stand around and watch everyone else sing. That led to him wanting to take music lessons like Megan and Christian. He chose the guitar. At first, it was so wonderful to see him playing and smiling and singing. It wasn’t fun to HEAR him doing those things. Man it was hard to be in our house with all that noise!!!
Instead of excluding him from the Junior High Band, we were fortunate to have leaders at church who encouraged him and included him in the practices and performances. That little opportunity has led Jeffrey to be one of the regular guitarists at the Higher Ground Church Service with the Senior High Band, often as the LEAD guitarist! No limits.
Once he reached middle school, he wanted to join the track team. Without hesitation, we signed the paperwork and it was official. What a great experience for him, the team, and for us to watch! His hard work and perseverance paid off meet after meet and usually ended with both teams lining the track cheering his name as he finished his second lap (always in dead last but first in everyone’s heart) and headed towards the finish line. No limits.
Now he’s a junior in high school, and as you read a few weeks ago, he has been able to participate in events like the PROM! But there’s one special event that took place last weekend that we as his parents are super proud of – Sports Nite. For those of you who are unaware of this event, it’s AWESOME! The juniors and seniors at Pennsbury High School are divided into two teams, black and orange, where they compete in field day type activities such as tug of war and trash can relay; among others. There are also dance competitions that both the girls and boys will participate in and be judged on. It’s a blast.
For the past two years we were there to watch our oldest daughter participate, and we noticed that none of Jeffrey’s special classmates were involved. We wondered if this was by choice or if they weren’t permitted to take part, so we asked around. As he began his junior year, we decided to inquire about Jeffrey’s participation in Sports Nite, it is a class they sign up to take. What we found out was that Jeffrey was more than welcome, and in fact encouraged to take part!! He couldn’t wait for the third marking period to start when his Sports Nite practices would start.
As we drove up to drop him off, it was a pretty cool moment, he jumped out of the car at the assigned time of 5 o’clock to get ready with his classmates. He waited for the opening ceremonies and exercises with his friends, got prepared for his events (the tug of war and the medicine ball relay), got changed into his cowboy costume for the dance, back into his gym gear for the rest of the night, and then hung out in the student section cheering his head off! By the time we got to see him it was almost 9 o’clock. For four hours, he was unchained, free to be a kid…a regular kid participating in something that thousands of Pennsbury students have also done through the years. A night that he told us was the BEST EVER. No limits.
Now it wasn’t pretty! His relay team lost, his tug of war team lost, his dance lost, and the Orange team lost the overall competition. But we decided a long time ago that Jeffrey would not be held back from any activity that he wanted to do, even if it included defeat. We couldn’t shelter him from these activities because he’d get upset or WE were scared something would happen to him – because LIFE is scary. If we held him back or gave him limits, what kind of life would he have? We want him to live life to the fullest. We want him to have a life without limits.
by Kami | Mar 12, 2019 | All Essential
Commitment and Partnership. Two things our pastor discussed on Sunday night and the timing could not have been more perfect.
Dan and I are committed to our marriage and our family, but also to our business. The added duties of building a business together *could* put a lot of strain on our relationship if were weren’t on the same page and good at being partners.
Just last week I was out of town for 4 days with our team at doTERRA’s leadership retreat. It is always exciting to get away and celebrate accomplishments (this is an earned event that our team worked hard to get to), while also attending invaluable business training. Since I was in CEO mode, Dan needed to be in charge of all the things at home. Which included a college-age daughter home on her first spring break, Jeffrey who decided he missed mom so much that he needed to visit the nurse at school daily, social events for the middle-schooler (i.e. lots of carpooling), and his job as a teacher.
Three years ago we committed to building a life we had only dreamed about. The road is not always easy, or straight, or even visible but because we are in it together the load is so much lighter!
by Dan | Mar 5, 2019 | All Essential, Jeffrey
The Junior Prom was last Friday, a rite of passage for all high schoolers. But it was an event that we NEVER thought he’d be able to go to. So much has changed…
I can remember when we first realized that something was different. He couldn’t hold his head up, was really undersized, and didn’t react like Megan did. But each kid is different, I told myself.
Then he was diagnosed hearing impaired and global developmental delayed. My first thought was, “What will his life be like?” I wondered about school, friends, his future. And those worries were realized when he was young. There were a lot of looks, stares, and laughs. He wanted to play with the other kids, but there were no play dates, no parties, no sleepovers.
He had friends from his class, the small circle of other autistic children who were in the same boat. They were invited to each other’s birthday parties, but that was basically it. So many times we had to comfort Jeffrey when Megan or Christian had something planned with their friends and weren’t home and he didn’t understand why he couldn’t do those things.
Things began to change once he got to high school. His smile and personality began to infect PHS. And something is different about today’s high schoolers – they see the big picture so much better than when I was there. Kids began to embrace Jeffrey. We couldn’t go anywhere without someone seeing him, yelling his name, or giving him a high-five or a hug. Megan became known as “Jeffrey’s sister” to a lot of people!
But there was still something that wasn’t complete to him – the dances. In middle school, Jeffrey attended all of the dances with his buddy Frederick and was carefully watched by his teachers and aides. He attended the freshman formal with Frederick and their dates….Megan and her friend Caroline. He went to the sophomore dance with his autistic friend whose mother was a chaperone. Even though he was at the event, there was still a watchful eye on him at all times making sure nothing went wrong.
And that leads us back to Friday night. The first time in his life that he attended something of this magnitude without a family member or other adult specifically designated to look out for him. And the best part about it was we weren’t even worried about him.
What a feeling to have after 16 years of constantly wondering if he was alright – not only safe but also having a good time with his peers.
His date was not a family member or someone from his small circle of autistic friends, but a wonderful young lady from his “Best Buddies” club who cares for Jeffrey and has his best interests at heart.
As I reflect on this night a few days later, I can truly say that this was the best night of Jeffrey’s life, and we are so blessed to be able to share this with all of you.
~Dan
